Past to Present
In each of my falls (exiles), I have learned some things, such as overcoming a lower state of being. Early on, this cost me; it was as if a giant hand took a paper towel, sprayed cleaner on my world, and wiped it out.
Of course, I did not know of a higher power doing so that I might gain from the experience and be a better person. Reading the signs wasn't always easy or even looked for. No, what took place with me, and many others, has taken the better part of 45 years.
Only now, like a great composer, can I take all the moving parts and fit them together into a cohesive story that I have yet to do and that no one else understands. Easily missed, a professional person with a quick diagnosis would say mental illness is the cause for such behavior.
Indeed, will someone explain the events easily? No worries. They don't know me, do you? Don't you know me?
I am your native son.
Anxiety caused by trauma, which led to the emotional cutoff, is quite prevalent today, and it's something that has disrupted my life several times.
Now I recognize the reason why some I have known have emotionally cut off family members for seemingly no reason and when pressed, deny there is anything wrong but keep the estrangement in place.
Excessive drinking and self-abuse by risky behaviors may all stem from the same source. For me, it was a story. It worked in the past as a fail-safe for me to get free of the anxiety and emotionally cut off the source of the trauma, keeping it far away.
There were times I returned after a time to these relationships, to both parents (divorced), girlfriends, wives, strangers, and jobs I have worked.
To all of them, I ask forgiveness. I could not cope, which is ironic—finding a purpose to start writing my thoughts. To give people a way to cope with anxiety and trauma, bringing peace.
To say yes! What choice did I have? Only by this did I mean it; I knew this was my path, and naught another man could walk it with all the sidestep hustle bumps such as I have. I remember standing on the side of the road just in the mountains, on the right-hand side, going south and crossing the road. I could try going back north, so which did I choose? South it was. The car stopped, and I fell asleep in a warm car.
Stopping at a rest area, I borrowed a blanket and slept on a grassy hill. In the morning, my ride from a stranger was gone, and God led me to more strangers. I believed everything leading me was here—a wife, career, and home I had always wanted—but it had not finished with me.
Before I fell again, I challenged all my beliefs and taught who I really am, why I came here, and what was left to do. However, as I said before, there were no signs, and it was difficult to see my path.
It usually starts with dissatisfaction with how things are and a desire to look for something better. Learning later is my way of repairing the world in mystical terms. It took only three years, a natural ending to my twenty-seven-year pause, and a spate of searching and relinquishing for me to find my final fall; during this time, I also discovered people who had been for my rocks and welcomed me back.
It brings us to our story, which involves falling away and people forgetting ties. It is a story of redemption, shared hope, and accurate answers for God's chosen.
I started writing this because I needed to understand what I had learned and wished to pass on the idea as a Mystic. My things are here for a reason and have yet to be easily seen or known. It's close out there, which I can get.
The Plot involves a couple who immigrate from Eastern Europe and go not through Ellis Island but through a port in Galveston, Texas, which has been open for a few years; I like the idea of an inheritance lost and recovered by sleuth work.
You see, we are not limited to where we are. With the right tools and understanding, healing takes place even a little at a time, and now I am ready to write a future any way I choose.
Find my power, joy, abundance, and light, and share the wisdom. Shifra Hanna Hendrie (10/26/2022)
Chapter One
I had constantly awoken early while the rest of the house slept; it was time to dream. On this cool morning, I raised our garage door and unplugged the charging cord, but I had some difficulty. A personal warming bug rider made for one would carry me to the office over the hill a short distance to the Mississippi.
The kabbalist and I had been creating space for a fractal of the waters of Meribah to healing waters.
Psalm 81 6,7 I relieved his shoulders from the basket. You called out in distress, and I rescued you. I answered you from the cloud of thunder. I tested you at the waters of Meribah.
The water is not toxic. The people around us are poisonous and need to find the wellspring of water from within—well, at least the adept does and will.
I returned from Miami late last night and rode the shuttle home. With licenses and web help, I remodeled my office space at the beginning of the spring.
Starting with the breezeway, I obtained permission to replace the tile and started before school baked goods in that space available for any who needed a good start to the day; older people came in later and polished off the rest by noon.
The elderly daycare is a big hit, providing an alternative to isolation. Our biggest challenge is the surrounding business. It benefitted the liquor store, as the seniors were just as isolated early in the day.
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Thinking about the seniors reminds me of Ed Sinclair's Cuban cigars; when Ed found out I was going to Miami for two weeks, he told me, "Don't come back without Cuban Cigars."
A merchant Marine Ed had been in more places than I had bummed around the United States. The proximity to ready-stocked shelves created a group of men and occasional women to gather at Ed's home on the patio to partake and spin stories.
It was almost time to make my appearance. My first stop was the bakery. The building is part of a larger complex, and 70 % of the retail space was vacant, which I had been monitoring for almost two years.
Molly runs the joint under the banner of Game Day Breads. She can make biscuits and gravy, cinnamon rolls, banana nut bread, or have the Sartell Toast Girls show up and help.
Mainly, the toast girls work sporting events where they taunt the opposing team, saying "You're Toast," selling a variety of sweet and savory five days a week, catching the morning commute and Friday Football games at the High School Sports Field across 7th Ave. A group of football players took the honor of protecting the girls after I explained the danger to young girls and the public. Although some of the girls would win that encounter, God forbid.
Expecting the smell of a bakery, I was disappointed again. My smeller quit working due to Parkinson's. Molly greets with a wave and says Popovers, a hollow-filled baked dough with various fruit fillings. Packaged with all our stats, the count is 45 for morning and mid-morning crowds.
Between this and that and two other things, Molly asks about my Trip and new business, a travel agency. I make light conversation, knowing she has a full schedule but is autonomous, for the most part, calling on me when the price of eggs is just too high or any other problems arise with equipment or staff. Otherwise, she is the boss.
Getting help to carry the popovers to the table inside the breezeway, where coffee and juice are available, I grab a cup and wait for the students at Sartell Unified School District. Go Sabre!
Making up the gap in providing breakfast treats is a much-needed relief because of working parents and the inability to afford the higher cost of groceries. Most of the time, the bakery uses flour and ingredients to make room for the freshly milled flour and rotation stock. Overall, it is an excellent move for us to gain community support.
Kids are a joy and want to help; they find their ways without trying. I tease the students not to get too close, as they might become entangled in my beard, like the man who caught fish in his beard when he went to wash his face in the lake. Wash your face and find a fish fry! Hahaha.
Once the students appeared, I noticed one student trying to get my attention. I had taken her and her mom to a local clothing store and bought some clothes for the girl to have for a new job as an entry-level waitress at a restaurant. She thanked me again for the kindness and wanted to know if her friends might find something to do. I knew what she meant. I always created fun ways for young people to take on responsibility, with self-starters filling roles almost beyond their years.
For the foreseeable future, I can pay for different opportunities based on my profits. I asked the young lady to spread the word about shifts in the bookstore, keeping in mind my seniors. There is travel, a bookstore, a bakery, and the Internet cafe we dubbed Michaelangelos, run by my oldest friend Luangie.
I was sending invitations for businesses to join me along the Mississippi. A new company is always looking for help.
The watery course reminds me of the true nature of my vision.
Chapter 2
I felt like I was in golus, a self-imposed exile; it can be a good thing, but it is not pleasant to lose everything and try to build it back, the end coming in just a brief respite.
Whenever you have everything you need and are at a place where you think you belong, Finding a way out of that place makes appreciation of finding a way back and becomes a redemption in the body.
Exile is the involuntarily stripped away of primary living conditions, which makes it hard to reason out blame or the status of who you are or where you stand. The recovery time from the loss is the most remarkable comeback with the lessons learned.
There is a sense of not so much thinking about walking away from your base into the unknown but finding yourself there wondering why you left.
We can feel a sense of belonging and the need to find our natural place of belonging. That home is where I belong, and I feel the calling to fight for it as a man of war.
I found myself at a crossroads. Where again it was North or South. Stranded at a mega service station where the traffic was steady, anything you could need was available that could be wanted (for a price) on short or long trips.
I parked the car. I waited all afternoon until my card loaded my last paycheck, which was my previous one because I quit my job and left the state. I found myself with a new awareness of a mystery from the past.
It brought me to the awareness that I was put here on this earth to think about my happiness, be concerned about people, care for someone other than myself, and be needed.
The story was a fantastic look at people living in exile generationally; I felt very close to those denied freedom and the opportunity to make a good life and a better future for themselves.
The choice then became to return to my old life and pick up the pieces or follow the clues and find a way to tell their story. I filled my car and returned to my previous life, where the search began earnestly.
To tell a story, one must know its backstory. Jews throughout history, from the time of losing the past life of normalcy and being forcibly removed to lands where there was a lack of opportunity and freedom, plus the attitude of people now having more and able to determine their future, keeping newly exiled in a state of oppression.
Still, despite the adversity, a wonderous thing happened: the Jews kept tradition, building communities wherever they landed and making roots as a people in a strange place. The Jews lived and continued and remained; they abided by their lot. Their goral (voice) was a distant memory, a long-looked-for deliverer to change the future to freedom, peace, and joy.
I was made aware of the second Aliyah, which began in 1904. Between 1904 and 1914, Jews, long held to they were sometimes not welcomed, were helped to find passage to Palestine and the United States.
There are two different places and outcomes for national and traditional bonds, even though they are from the same place. I understood the men with families going to a place, a homeland of rough and rugged land left fallow for centuries, some population of a settlement started by pioneers who had arrived in the 1800s.
Free from Russian oppression and violence, only to find themselves surrounded by sometimes-hostile residents who were not supportive of clearing land and revitalizing the good earth.
Where they came from, farming was impossible. Because it promised to be caretakers and stewards, immigrants, the beginnings of a fruitful land were hard fought for, yet God blessed the efforts of those before them who had come to the long-looked-for homeland. A return to the promised land out of exile was joined year after year by those who had recently found a way to join the pioneers. Whatever they could, God rewarded them with hard work whenever they tried.
However, that is only half the story. At the same time, passenger ships loaded with Jewish people from Russia were docking in Galveston, Texas, and sent to places where American immigrants from Europe had moved into and established communities. Earlier, American newcomers built the infrastructure, or it continued to be built by the people at the turn of the century. Future Americans first met and found isolationist communities where work was too scarce to be taken by the new arrivals. The Jews often were shunned, and Americans met immigrants from different nationalities with an objection to taking jobs away from the communities where they went. Once forgotten, families found and established family legacy.
Why Two different destinations? What is the significance of the same people taken from czarist Russia? The third Rome.
It is like the events of the Children of Israel at the Sea of Reeds, the same as today. Like Pharaoh coming after the newly liberated Russian Jews, only different this time, unseen KGB influences prevalent today.
Think about it: they planned to undermine values and morals. A thirty-year plan and you can see they are successful; our laws are written and changed in drastic ways. Both Israel and the United States have socialist members in a position to change anything they want to at any time without restraint.
Hopefully, change is coming to both, a brief respite. A man at war is at war to reject all the evil decrees and return to a nurturing justice based on the Torah, the Written and the Oral.
I do not know what it would be like to live under the conditions the Russian Jews endured. Thank God somebody did something about it. I tried to imagine and write about the time creating a family who got the news they would be going to the U. S. I wonder if, first getting there, they would say, "Next Year, Jerusalem."
The wind whipped through tiny and broad spaces inside the compound to reach the inhabitants inside the shanty town shacks.
Shema prayers, nighttime prayers for protection, said low conversations began between wives and husbands, mothers and daughters, and the old and younger members of the Eliigh family.
"The official bureau has our papers completed, and we go to Kyiv in the morning, board the train to the Black Sea, and ship for America," said the Patriarch of the family, Chas, and added
God willing, blessed be the Name of our Creator. The wife did not answer, and after troubling thoughts kept her awake, she finally drifted off to sleep and fitfully slept the rest of the night. She was up early, tending to the fire and cooking broth and gruel made from barley and oats.
Livi was fortunate Chas had found a beehive in a wall close to the city. They found the honey a good sign from Hashem—meager belongings, threadbare clothes, and two daughters, Irene and Bertha. America waits for these two husbands' homes and land.
Land, thought the mother Livia, "God-willing land." "Land and lots of it; first, we go to Kyiv, "said Chas.
With the financial backing of a wealthy New York industrial leader, Jews in the seemingly forgotten place were now given new opportunities once Jews were a tired people packed once more. A hopeful passage was made by immigrating to America's heartland through Galveston, Texas, a Southern Island. The Trip took two weeks, making it possible for thousands of families to share in the freedoms and opportunities and contribute to the cultural and economic highs and lows of the past 119 years.
They shared a ship's cabin, saying the morning and evening prayers while resting on Shabbat. When the ship entered the Gulf of Mexico, the family had fewer days aboard the boat as they determined the final leg of the journey was ending. Their next plan was, although unknown, being prayed for daily: where to go from here? How will we make it without being understood? That and thousands of questions flooded their minds as they took their belongings to the small room just off the pier, where Rabbi Henry Cohen greeted them warmly.
"Baruch Hashem, I am pleased to be here," said the first American Jew they would come to rely upon. They would remember his words quickly during the first few years they traveled north and west. The plan was for Jewish families to populate the mid-West, going where there was work, housing, and schools and continuing with Jewish life.
Rabbi Cohen began, "We are very fortunate to be able to bring you to this land of new beginnings. I will take you to a train quickly, and your family will board it to go through Texas, up through Oklahoma, Kansas, and into Minnesota, a beautiful land with many lakes. He said, "The Eastern boundary is a mighty river, the Mississippi, and far North of that river, a vast lake system that continues for miles from one great lake into another.
The opportunity in Minnesota opened up last week. You will move into a good house built well to comfort you in the winters and long summers. The position is in a flour mill. You don't need to worry about your family joining them. You will be living and working among our non-Jewish neighbors.
Please refrain from following and not follow their ways. Remain a good Jewish family, and everything will be good. Remember the past, Moshe, and our deliverance from Mizrahim.
Chapter 3
Turning the key and opening the door, everything is bright and new. The two weeks of mail scattered on the floor are primarily from companies offering business systems of one kind or another. I'm looking for something to keep me from pitching the whole bunch into a recycle bin. I find a reply from a friend of Ed's. A ship's captain is well-versed in moving cargo and passengers across oceans.
I am apprehensive about his response, but I don't think he will or won't. In the letter, I explained my crazy scheme. The salary and risk for me were unknown. I had agreed to consider his time and effort regarding a safe run from ports in the U.S. to Israeli ports, making five trips a year to start.
With the addition of men, crews will be sent to ports in other countries worldwide to pick up returnees. The letter includes several glowing recommendations and a hint of a lawsuit with U.S. Transportation for undelivered goods, with a date of 10 / 22 and a long rant about pretty boys doing a man's job.
I picked up the phone and entered the numbers to follow up on my initial request. Tyrell? Yeah? I said thank you for your response to my letter and resume, and I just wanted to say that whenever things get as crazy as with this federal government we have, there's no telling what will take place.
I understood and believed it made no difference in our professional working together.
Can I send you an invitation to meet me in Minnesota?
Yes, you can. Would you like me to start? said Tyrell
You will be on board by the summer peak travel season. Full-time, one month on, two weeks off, medical, dental, and bonuses. 70,000.00 a year.
The name of the passenger liner is the Carpentian, a South American vessel plying a trade between Florida and Costa Rica. The Trip with an entire passenger manifest crew will take on passengers in Mexico, Galveston, the Mississippi, and North Carolina.
Drone loading will speed up docking and departures. Social media sites are buzzing about the reality of traveling to Israeli ports to find work with several massive projects. Employment is guaranteed, and housing, be it modular, is just the ticket to ride—whole towns with everything and service needed. Sometime around my birthday, Our passengers have all the information about selecting the best departure location and suggestions for shipping household goods, cabin size, mess hall Kosher meals, and special needs dining.
Sometime around my birthday, it will be my turn.
Tyrell, please look for travel arrangements in the mail, and welcome aboard Sartellian Travel. We wished each other much success and broke the connection.
One-way tickets would cost around 2,746.00 for two adults and one child. The travel company will make compensation if you work as a crew member or lead a few discussion groups with information on what to expect and available resources when needed.
A guide who can share spiritually or practically anybody is compensated with a one-way ticket. The crew plus extra adds up to 15, and if we are down to a skeleton crew on the return voyage, all the better.
The way I see it, there is a way to make a living working at your livelihood, and then there is profit. I want to make a comfortable living for myself and those who work for me. People willing to make a permanent home. A finder's fee is then compensated for recruiting by the diverse Israeli companies heavily invested in seeing the projects staffed by Israeli citizens for Israel.
Loyalty and honor allow authors, speakers, teachers, and healers a place in my bookstore. Online access gives customers vetted choices to qualified self-help gurus. Courage is highly valued and aptly rewarded.
An extension of this is the bookstore, which allows authors, speakers, teachers, and healers a place in my bookstore. Online access gives customers vetted choices to qualified self-help gurus.
I will receive an email with progress and a date for meeting my first cruise ship captain. It's been quite a journey, with the details seemingly waiting to be found and put together quickly. Movie-style theater to preview what's available, and the internet café next to the bakery-tire has only six tables and is a short walk from the bookstore.
I remember when I could not find the strength to beg for work.
Chapter 4
I wanted to be somewhere other than where I was stuck. I was here for a reason; I was not able-bodied, and my difficulties. No one would take a chance on me, and I could not fake being just enough to fill the job requirements. I was stuck, stuck, stuck.
The only reason I could think of is my calling to help people. There is no need for people to follow God because of fear, and because people are highly educated with a good dose of being tired of scams, they don't follow a man who follows God either.
I had been receiving thoughts, some psalms, and a new understanding of the Torah for a while. Then the same thing happened: set to a frequency from a download from the Heavenly Court. Information I needed was presented in the form of images, all the while not being able to be understood to be for me.
I saw a crack in the fabric of reality; I am not able-bodied, and my difficulties from my perspective. No one would take a chance on me, and I could not fake being just enough to fill the job requirements. I was stuck and a new perspective ready to trump ours. I understood anyone could see it and worked towards it. I saw my loved ones, their appearance, and the promise of seeing them again. Like everything takes time to show, I needed to unpack.
Having the patience to wait for answers is a learned response. They know I had to do something, but not taking the time to unpack and digest is an unlearned way that most people and I have experienced.
There are many further insights, and they are more likely to trigger something that keeps popping up, even though you know how much time you have spent praying with self-castigation and morning to be free of the restricting eliminating barriers.
Time for study, an openness to being a vessel for clothed Ohr (light), and even though the life I feel is falling apart, time of contemplation is all I see. Looking for wisdom and understanding does come. Sensei, muse guides, and teachers only come about through investment, commitment, and connection.
Missing the mark is practice until it gets easier to make your shot accurately. Keep trying to unpack your potential.
I wake up every morning saying, "Thank you, Hashem, for restoring my soul and giving me another chance to get it right. You are everything to me."
My friends and group grow every day. I see people from different parts of the country and the world, and I want to know how we can all be united. With my investments, I may have found a way to attract those inclined to follow me out of Mizrahim.
Lawton, Oklahoma, New York City, and scattered between the South, North, East, and West. A vast undertaking, all independent of each other, how can one man possibly accomplish starting a dialogue, gathering in one place or several places at once? Speakers, teachers, philosophies, and healing arts practitioners abound.
From peddling bread, I have learned that people will buy it or won't. All anyone can do is offer what they have and hope what I am looking for is looking for me.
With all the invitations, my awareness programs rely on a spark that results in a wildfire of traveling to hear about new opportunities, signing up, changing mazal, and honoring Hashem by returning what is in exile.
I had been working on an email list and created invitations to a mini vacation at Lake Itaska, where the Headwaters of the Mississippi begin from a good spring from the underground aquifer, creating the lake and the mighty river. To make the invitations recreational and interactive, I placed them on several investment sites related to travel, specifically marketing to those who express love and fear of God.
I cover all the aspects of a two-day stay in a cabin, camping sites, places where inspirational speakers are, times, dates, and reduced-cost incentives. With the push of a few keys, I send out the vacation package to the most likely to join the rest, where leaders in the field have orated end times and Ge ula visions.
The second program is also travel-related, offering trips to Israel. Working with established companies offering vacation packages, ours is not a vacation but a destination. A realization of Headwaters of the Mississippi begins from sound, as it is no longer kosher to follow the everchanging laws of this country or many countries worldwide and not return to the foundation of the Oral Torah.
Chapter 5
In the world of doing things, you must catch up or fall short. Most of the time, this involves picking a company to do the heavy lifting of design, prototype service, package design, and engineering and presenting it to the industry for consideration. You have some say in it, but you see the resulting costs.
Some companies have ready-made items for you to purchase outright. Customizing from idea to prototype would require a planning department with access to skills. Plans are already available or could be tweaked to fit the first vision before spending money on prototypes.
Could you turn it over and turn it again? Getting through stages is how best to create. Years ago, I wanted a food cart to take out in public, and searching for one already made, purchased, and shipped to me wasn't an option.
Learning about fabrication shops where all the materials, equipment, and support staff could save a lot of money for the average Joe, I did the next best thing and hobbled one of my own. My cart could have looked better and held only some of the bread I had made. I took it out in public, not showing any embarrassment or pride, either.
When an entrepreneur sees a need like this, he examines every angle and decides if it is worthwhile. The average guy with some skills and a willingness to take a few classes can take home the realized project in a way that brings satisfaction.
Consumers who needed access to business plans were made available to anyone with skill; I will have created them professionally.
Brent, one of Molly's bread runners, delivers baked goods to local homes by bicycle, saving a trip to the store and delivery free of charge.
The runner's motto is "Hot bread accompaniment to Minnesota Hot Dish." Brent is also in a high school engineering class.
We have had a few conversations about such a venture and hiring staff in partnerships.
The more remote parts of the world can be contained in sailing vessels just offshore, with the same capabilities, and are only more suited to pioneers having access to earth-moving equipment for starting farming communities living and working onboard ships and shores until housing can be built, like the hospital ships in recent news accounts. It is a worthwhile endeavor for the brave of the heart. I passed by the laundry mat and saw a third to half of the entire parking lot suitable for a weekday at noon. When I first saw the restaurant, it was a year into a pandemic.
I give up on any inquiries about dream vacations and lock up for the day. Besides, I can access the proper way to respond anywhere with the new technology and help I received in Miami. Peeking into the bookstore, I see a few customers and staff conversing. I pass by the corner bookstore.
Seeking help from the internet websites, I advertised for a clerk with intuitive skills to help guide people at the bookstore to find what they need; the only requirement is to join our community of kabbalists. Cindy has been a big help since moving from Duluth, and we are happy to have her as staff at Delvers Books.
When I first saw the restaurant, it was a year into the pandemic, and it was failing.
I bought two hamburgers and fries—nothing to write home about, and I felt sorry for them.
We were approaching the front door, the glass shaded by the overhang. Through the clear glass window, I saw our patrons standing in line and sitting at tables with computers operating. At 10 dollars a square foot, remodeled in four months, we were into our fifth week of doing what we do: providing good food and service.
I enter and ask for a walleye fish burger with Cole slaw. I also want a bleu cheese aioli on a toasted bun made from our recipe for Sourdough rye with dill weed, caraway, and sunflower seed. I grab a fountain drink cup, fill it with Razzberry tea, and pick up a sweetener pack.
Finding a free table, I sit and wait for my hunger buster. The loaf bread, sweet rolls, bread pudding pies, and cakes come from next door, which could be why the last owners made it less unused. When I started mixing bread, I only had the narrow divider and front of our kitchen sink to rest my mixing bowl.
If you lease the space, use it to pay the monthly bill or find another enterprise to fill it. Independently from what you do, you can make a profit using unused space. "Max, headroom," I told the food worker. Getting one chuckle, I continued, " You see sharks following fishing boats out in the ocean."
"One shark told the captain I am hungry and can't find anything to eat; I was hoping you could chum up with something."
This time, the whole place erupts in laughter. The new waitress sets my plate down, turns, and is gone, shaking her head as if to say You shouldn't have. Acting aloof, I tackle my lunch.
The testing has been superficial for me and those who can see the changes in our lives. Living comfortably means no longer striving to get it right; we know the time has arrived. It is a time of wonder and exploration. We are no longer considering getting it right; we have turned the sustainability issue into The One—a Becoming One. There is no separation. All is here for me. God's Hand was always giving, believing in his creation. He saw and said, "It is good," Even when it was not as good as it will be.
I have always expressed dreams and visions whenever possible, and we have waited long enough. There is no date and time for this dream of God because time and circumstances play no part in unfolding God's will for us.
Feel free to write your own story; you have help. As for mine, the chapters I have written to inspire you, the reader, to tell it as you would like it to be.
By Sir Ron
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