We write down our perceptions of the experiences we as masters of return and hope to at some point find a little bit of the glow from the G-dly interactions with us. But wouldn’t you want to know (to explain) it enough to make it understandable? Where would we find such a person to lay out the reasoning and purpose of a mystical enchantment? Who? The Torah teacher.
The receiver now longs for a narrowing of purpose on the path. Hashem has called us to stride searching, sometimes finding a little bit more about us and our time here under the protected sovereignty of the All Mighty.
However, as a flash of lightning, we see something in the otherwise mundane world of the cause-and-effect familiar world to which we have become accustomed. When an internal life-changing event takes place in the hidden depths of our conscience, we may try to be a firsthand account giver of something we witnessed but cannot prove happened, or completely understand.
What takes place in the subconscious mind is not recognized by the conscience mind it cannot be understood except by a contemplation of the image’s symbols or feelings and impressions that are grasped onto and then made personal. The flash of lightning, the grasping holding on to it, must be sent to another office of the superconscious mind. The office of Bina takes a project from the receiving station of the office of Chocmah.
In a way to show how the one office works on completing the order to pass it along to the next station and where a completely different mission statement is executed.
I’ll tell you a story of a man who was carefree traveling from place to place with just his strength and wits. In the mountains, one day he came upon a clearing, the slope of the mountain leveled off before continuing toward the valley floor, and what the man took in was the useful nature of the land spoke to him, suggesting a source of water from a clean pure water source above the level area, and down below vast areas of land with good rich fertile soil. Proceeding a feeling of home the young man began to contemplate what it would take to store water from the mountain’s aquifer. What he would need to live in this rugged place, a home – shelter, a food source of rich farmland below the home.
And so begins the processing of the inspiration that leads to a strong old man, a husband, a father, and a grandfather waking up in a two-story hand-built home facing the rising sun looking out overabundant to-be-harvested fields cleared of timber many years before. A vision of something unfamiliar is studied and then acted upon. You could call this man wise. Wise of heart. Being wise is a lifetime of enlightening, contemplation, and taking or not taking any action.
What’s nice is we can set our ever-developing visions aside and listen to another’s journey, learn from it, and take it upon ourselves to add our cheers to their success.
I met such a person while still finding my way in a buddy’s group. We would meet once a week, there were four of us, me and 3 Jewish women. I had nothing to worry about we had made a connection and we set goals to help with troubling issues that would arise and creatively yet humbly offered solutions or words of encouragement. All of us brought something to those meetings.
One woman was very keen on helping the rest of us with her knowledge as she was a life coach and accumulated years of research into kabbalah and the ten attributes. She left the group, and we were sad to see her go but understood her reasons were best for her.
I found an email from her in my files. Wow to explain what a significant find this was for me, a treasure along my path. I have her account of what happened in the 1970’s as a young woman completely autonomous caring for countless people who benefited from her care. An empath she went into some of the darkest places and shone like a beacon. It was a narrow path, and she did very well. As an empath know taking on someone else’s pain can be a shutting down of their power and purpose, and as a friend who sticks closer than a brother whether any knows it or not, I care.
For me to have come so far as to know I can now explain the letter helps me in my mystic endeavor to teach and impart knowledge from masters like the Baal Shem Tov, Maimonides, and the Rebbe all, of blessed memory. The teachers and mentors a Gate of Unity school explain concepts from old and new texts, bringing in new awareness. Helping to clarify the news, answering questions we have, accessible where it is understandable.
Taking these and many sources I will now share her letter and answer the questions she asks, for what took place came from nothing. Doubts and questions are natural. The descent, ascent, and repeating process require philosophy, metaphysics, and hisbonenus.
I thought that as a discussion this might be a better fit in a group and who knows this may be a Mitzvah goreres mitzvah. The conclusion of the matter is where do you stop looking for a deeper meaning a Sod (secret) interpretation that satisfies a questioning mind. The answer is always revealing itself. Turn it over, turn it again see where it leads. Golus is not something of our present state. We are transitory, always returning, to Ge’ uela. On this path, you’re to think of golus as going somewhere (necessary) and ge’uela as the designation.
Menucha Ben-David 1:13 PM (44 minutes ago)
to me
I Know Nothing
A little bit of background helps set the scene: As a child, I was quiet, somewhat reclusive, and enjoyed days of not talking, and expressing myself through art and music. I grew up in NYC, intellectually gifted, never fitting in. If it wasn't for Mrs. Stiles, a teacher who let me make bulletin boards instead of doing boring schoolwork, it would have been difficult to survive even in elementary school.
With the least common Myers-Briggs personality type - the INFJ (1.6 % of the population) an introverted, intuitive feeling type - I am an empath, forever feeling misunderstood by people but in deep connection to nature, the pains of the universe, the struggles and madness of everyday life and the burden of humanity.
Fast forward.
It was 1977. President Jimmy Carter pardoned the Vietnam War draft evaders, space shuttles were rolled out and the world's first all-in-one home computers were released. More impressively, Star Wars was born, although warp speed was recognized as faster than the speed of light 10 years prior. Through it all, I was, you might say, in the prime of my life. The hills, valleys, wild horses, and goats near a university town in Wisconsin gave me the space I needed until at the age of 24 external situations changed me to the core of my soul.
1. My sister whose IQ was around 180, a semester before graduating from Pratt Institute as an architect was diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and bipolar mental illness.
2. My aging parents put me in charge, and I headed east to the madness in Greenwich Village.
3. The family moved to Boston, where a Freudian analyst took over my sister's therapy and emptied my parents' wallet. Hence continued her career (not as an architect) - but as a mentally ill person who was drugged, straight-jacketed, and programmed to live life on cigarettes and diet cola.
4. I lived at and ran a kosher macrobiotic study house, cooking for cancer patients and prisoners and counseling at the Kushi Foundation, teaching methods of eastern healing.
5. I frequented and became observant at the Bostoner Rebbe's house after hearing an incredible shiur by Yehudit Frishman.
6. I was working as a music/art therapist to brain-damaged patients at the Lenox Hill Nursing Home.
7. I was running 50 -70 miles a week and ocean swimming 6-10 hours a week.
8. I frequented state mental hospitals, city mental hospitals, and many facilities where my sister was incarcerated.
But this is not a resume. It's an attempt to paint a backdrop of physical events that preceded an experience that changed my life: to describe a reality that is true but so unheard of that few have ever been there because there is no seeming connection or orientation to reality as we typically experience and know it. And no - I was not drugged. The list of prior life events above had everything to precipitate this. In fact, in retrospect, it was one external event in succession causing another until the door just opened, “I” remained at the opening and Gd wisped the real me through to bask in what I still can barely describe or even verify happened. Except that it has been the driving force in my soul for most of my life - a yearning to see and hear and allow the life in me to just reveal itself.
Although light travel is a physical impossibility for a body it is the only explanation that sits well with me because light photons don't experience time at all. ... From the perspective of a photon, there is no such thing. Emitted, it might exist for hundreds or thousands of years, but for the photon, no time elapses between when it's emitted and when it's absorbed again. This was my experience. Yet there was form - the form of a dissolving human body as large as the universe, pulsating with all of creation. Had I taken the microcosmic minerals and vegetables and animals from the oceans and rivers and soil inside of my body in precision and gratitude and then recreated a macrocosmic energetic experience where the order of the universe and the source of all was in me and at the same time all around in unison? A free flow of utterances might include the whole world is in me, I am in the whole world, no boundaries, shared atoms, the greatness of a human body!
But what ACTUALLY happened? I left my sister after a visit to her apartment on Commonwealth Ave. in Boston, got on a train and as the doors opened, I began traveling at what I can only express as light speed. Was I chosen or did I choose it? I know nothing. I used an inhuman amount of willpower to connect to the beyond because the stress and trauma of what I saw in my family and the sufferings of the world in the preceding years were too much to bear. Perhaps as a reward for my actions, my humility, my compassion, and my selflessness, I had been given the experience of a true reality: beauty and peace at another level of awareness. Or perhaps my brain cells shut off all verbal and emotional connections and just rewired to images of the macrocosmic universe as it truly is. I know nothing.
At first, I tried to rationalize the occurrence and looked for scientific explanations. I tried eating macrobiotically again, exercising again, praying, serving, and other futile attempts to recreate the experience. Until I became observant, I was unaware during the year before the experience that I was in constant motion doing mitzvot. I ate little, mostly grains, beans, and sea vegetables, and was consumed by gratitude and service in hospitals and nursing homes. I believe (believed?) that I biologically transmuted my brain and body cells so rapidly that at one point I was standing watching my parents and sister sitting at the kitchen table but felt transcended out of this immediate family - disconnected genetically. I wonder what a good psychiatrist and neuroscientist would say about this!) And for many years afterward, I thought that I was a different type of life force - not wholly human but maybe a temporary angel here on a mission. (Aren't we all?) Then - 10, 20, 30, 40 years went by and on a few rare occasions, a glimpse of being immersed in light and feeling the glory of that primal place of emotion beyond intellect where you are graced with that Presence returned. But never at the magnitude of the original.
I was not there, but eternity was there. A collective life force - spiraling in those moments...larger than “life” leaving me with an imprint in the recesses of my brain - enough to keep me in wonder. Was it a visit to the world of Yetzira, ‘the abode of the lower classes of angelic beings and the souls of ordinary Jews, where the dimension is still spiritual and has not yet entered the physical limitation of space?’ I know nothing but hope that these tangible letters coming out in 2021 might add acceptable, modern-day documentation on the subject and that they will inspire today a return and a yearning.
Yearning and returning seem to be home for me - presently yearning to live again in Israel physically to have the length of my days on the land that Hashem gave to me. Interestingly, I moved to Israel in 1991 at 38 after being married at 31 and having had 4 of 5 children. Since 2001, returning to America and Israel repeatedly - with a fifth child who has Down syndrome (notable in the course of events) is my life. The idea that all the cells of our bodies become transformed is true but not only by physicality and ingestion - by thought and emotion as well. Does my soul transform? I just don't know. Perhaps it is constant transformation and at the same time just unified stillness.
Authors note.
Four levels in going from Oneness into creation/multiplicity.
Yesh Amiti – the True Being
Ayin Hakalul B’Yesh Amiti – the “nothingness, or potential space, with the True Being
Ayin HaMakor L’ Yesh – the “nothingness” which is the source of something (creation)
Yesh HaNitrad – the separate something, meaning created being
Job said in his misery that I had never been born a Tzadik, Jeremiah Woe is me, Mother, that you gave birth to me, a man of strife and controversy. A Prophet. In other words returns me to the place I was before, where my mission was started, to the Yesh HaNitrad the separate something, meaning created being, a being sentient with awareness of the separate parts experiencing life at its full and raw nature like a superhuman with all the intricate fractals, unifying, aware of being created marvel upon marvel.
“The abode of the lower classes of angelic beings and the souls of ordinary Jews, where the dimension is still spiritual and has not yet entered the physical limitation of space?” (Menucha ben David) 2021 I know nothing.
Marvelous to experience being created as the One. Not to a complete withdrawal which is to Yesh Amiti, the True Being. I want to see Your Face but not so much as I cease to exist. Before the nothingness of Ayin Hanako L’ Yesh. I make my choice to live with you Hashem.
The world of Yetzira.
I know nothing.
Jeremiah 15:11 Hashem replied, “A remnant will remain for good, good for you in the end: A double good (appearing word tov twice) restoring goodness, order a sense of this world of harshness tempered with Divine help.
Genesis 1;31 “And G-d saw all he had made and behold it was very good.” Was good when the earth and everything in the earth and the expanses surrounding were created revealed and concealed. And very good when He created man.
I will never leave you, I Am My desire, to live your life with you. From that stage in creation when you are a “nothingness” a potential space ayin to (yesh) empty to fill, a source for something. A soul, a separate something, meaning created being,
Tuesdays with Morrie, an old man, a young man, and life’s greatest lesson. A story about living and dying and how a young man visits a friend over twelve weeks on Tuesdays. In the story, there’s something I want to share with you.
“I heard a nice little story the other day”. Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment, and I wait.
Okay.
The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air – until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
“My God this is terrible”, the wave says. “Look at what’s going to happen to me!”
“Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave looking grim and it says to him, ‘Why do you look so sad?’
“The first wave says, ‘You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?’
“The second wave says, ‘You don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.”
I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.
“Part of the ocean.” He says, ‘Part of the ocean.” I watch him breathe in and out, in and out.
The fruit ripens
on The vine
time and gravity domineer.
Wild monkeys eat
intoxicated wild
fruit of the vine.
destined to become
air-traveled noisy
winged fowl they fly.
Wind rain time and snow
leaves the seed
with no else to go.
deep dark hidden,
in time suspended,
waiting until decay
curious things happen
New yet age-old
a continuation
design meets providence
The crucible mothers
Broken, stepped on
Will exaggerations be?
nurturing as a guide.
Hand of man cuts
Such a toil lugging
Handling a process tedious
Rich sweet colorful
Stored bread and fruit
A gift to the Levite
No portion given
A wise Sower
dispensing goodwill
from the maker
through a part of the whole
Movement
The Torah speaks according to the language of man, that is to say, (expressions), that can easily be comprehended and understood by all, are applied to the Creator.
In visions, the receiver tells what he or she saw, in this case, a very fast acceleration to another place using the language most familiar to her to describe travel, and speed, to where? Why is an image made up in the form of a human?
Made in My Image. In Menucha’s case, she received the whole Pardes, and the Oral Torah is seen and heard as an experience of all its myriad of different parts integrated part of a comic blue blueprint G-ds own design.
Several lighting flashes for a period of how long? In an instant or longer or was there time at all? Hum! Describing it as a warp speed, quicker than light. What is quicker than thoughts? Her thoughts or G-ds.? Her thoughts come from her heart as in a heart of understanding. G-ds Manifestation (heavenly aid).
A man stuck in a golus state manifesting a future redemption of awareness of the cosmos, the vastness of the universe externally, and inner explorations from the seen and unseen to the tinniest micro mini. Cosmetology, compositions, and minerals made up into house a spiritual being of enormous potential with soul powers.
We are not to ascribe anything to G-d as in a corporeal way. What Menucha describes is incomprehensible for man to grasp fully. Beyond our thoughts incorporable, comparable to no one or anything. A form is unremarkable until you look at the essence of it in words stitched together to form an idea.
The twenty-two - two letters of the Alef bet are created when a formula is used to join letters into action, mastered. The ultimate Source this not the Creator, in a way He creates creators. Shabbat is a day for resting from creating. I could say She but again it's just a form for my understanding, the important thing to remember is to show respect and awe, as in the presence of a King who has complete control and the words chosen must be carefully found to even open a dialog, where favor or condemnation is at the whim, of the king.
Fear of his power, but also love of his rule. This comes by seeing his court and His kingdom this ordered matrix and the conduct and countenance perceived from essence, and the people he rules over. This is the form of the essence we use to describe the qualities and attributes. In verbs, allegory symbolism adjectives like something but not describing an actuality by personal (accounts) irrefutable evidence of an encounter which will never be attributed to anything, but men’s imaginations
Why do we have so many accounts of encounters with G-d? It is because men haven’t taken the time to study and the time to fully go into a contemplation needed to erase old misconceptions and attain the Active Intellect. Now love and fear take upon different meanings such as fear of G-d is the beginning of wisdom. Love becomes more than an appreciation. A reverence for being part of the service of the king, in carefully understanding and carrying out the king’s directives. There would be less disunity in the world if men would consider study and contemplation necessary before taking a message to the masses.
If there was a formula to be in the motion of going and returning it is brought out in Jacob’s ladder. The primary purpose was to bring Isaac’s son to this part of his statement upon awakening from a dream. That a House of G-d shall be in the place where the pillar of rock was placed by Jacob’s hands. The commentary in the Chumash brings out the events before his cold camp and a rock for his pillow.
Jacob had voluntarily given up all his possessions into the hand of his brother’s son Eliphaz who was told to, was commanded to pursue Jacob and kill him. Eliphaz was in a dilemma; he was taught a Torah pre-Ten Commandments prohibition to do no murder by his great-grandfather Abraham and was torn between obeying his father Esau or heeding his conscience and refraining from this deed. Jacob’s solution was to no doubt (refer) to his training at the Academy of Shem and Eber, again Torah.
A man who has no possessions and cannot influence one or two men because of lacking providence is like a dead man. Satisfying Eliphaz's requirement to his father and refraining from harming Jacob, Eliphaz took all of Jacob’s possessions.
Not only did G-d establish a covenant with Jacob that day and establish a house of prayer for all people, instituting a system for the Levitical priesthood where rulings based on Torah law could settle disputes between men giving peace between man and G-d, where many disputes have been settled, and restored Jacob’s possessions seven-fold giving Jacob the entire land of Eretz Israel, but also said who so ever blesses him I will bless, and whosoever curses him I will curse. Hashem instituted a way for men like Jacob and Esau a place for justice to be found.
Never pray or command an angel when praying, saying the name of an angel is an invocation. I was taught angels don’t want to be bothered. Considering what they do we can appreciate them. Jacob was on his way to Haran to his uncle Laban Rachel’s brother. The changing of the overwatch. The ladder has always been interpreted to be a gateway between heaven G-ds dwelling place down to man.
In Jacobs's dream, G-d was standing over Jacob condensing the land of Israel to be under where Jacob lay. I don’t know if we can say G-d used a ladder to get there, as was stated earlier as G-d is. There is nothing but G-d od nil novado. The ladder was used only by the angels. A new set of angels was replacing the angels overlooking Jacob while he was in Eretz Israel. And because he was leaving on his way to Haran, it required a new set of angels outside the land. This brings up some interesting questions.
Does this happen whenever a Jewish soul leaves the land of Israel? What about returning? If the Jewish souls living in the Diaspora are about to make Aliyah back to living in Israel generations after living in exile returning. Will they receive new angels also? Keeping in mind the two rising or elevated states (Aliyah) one a spiritual and the other a physical. Does the changing of location change mazal and interaction with the world around us? This would take away the fear of living in Eretz Israel knowing you have angel’s always watching and protecting you. Specialized suited just for you, many as needed if you are in the land of Israel or away.
Still a light to the world. Grasp hold of the borders of his garments. We know G-d is with you made in the image of Malchut to Keter to Malchut. The Zohar and kabbalah state this world (Asiya) formation, underneath the higher world of (Yetzira) formation, and not only worlds but universes exist higher than this one concealing hiding the garmented truth of a ladder from here to Yetzira the abode of Jewish souls and angels. Thinking about escaping to a higher place, to another world? People have said there is only one way out of this world. What if we could see the ladder going up? In other words, the people for whom the ladder aids!
Menucha left our buddy group on January 23. Now we were 3, a new addition was a life coach another amazing and talented Soul Influencer from New York, Ednah Sara, was back to 4 another of our small group finished the year-long Soul Influencer Program under the teaching of Shifra Channa Hendrie and her husband David. In Tzafat Israel, her name is Shaulhevet. Now left with a 3 strong group, me Lisa, and Ednah Sara, we recruited from the school Gate of Unity and added Leah and Gila. On our first day of meeting, Leah related this account of preparing to move from Canada to Israel, and on the day of her departure a nationwide ban on travel was announced in Canada and the U. S. Leah went to the airport anyway. Finding one plane traveling to Israel. However, there was not a seat available for her or anyone else. She spoke to the airline company and obtained a ticket to a seat on the airplane that just opened. Providence!
In Wayfarer’s Prayer Jacob saw two camps. Calling the place Machanayim (two camps) his and an angelic one, both equal as both camps have G-ds servants. G-day camps.
For Abraham's sons and daughters, neither a sea nor a virus can stop a determined people’s return to home, aided by G-ds messengers, Messiah ben Yosef and Messiah ben David. The physical and spiritual camps. The three men in Daniel walking in the fire. The fourth had the appearance of an angel, the highest element within our souls.
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